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fivegum:

Tbh I’m always the person that asks someone to hang out and I never get asked and it’s annoying


larrycoincidences:

whenever i get low on money i start thinking really irrationally like what if i hadn’t spent that $10 back in 2004 



me:  haha hey guys do u dare me to eat this whole thing of ice cream
them:  no
me:  *shaking my head and chuckling* i cant believe you guys are making me do this
them:  we're not
me:  *eating right out of the thing* this is so wild you guys you're so fucked up for making me do this

ruinedchildhood:

Mom: Home in 5 minutes, hope you’ve taken the chicken out of the freezer

Me: image


shychiaichi:

when ur in a bad mood but dont want to worry your friends

image


johnhoustonstockton:

just wanna get rich enough to buy my mom all the shit she deserves 


partyintheurl:

my talents are so hidden that i haven’t found them yet


matt-douchene:

do u ever do something mildly impolite like not give a nice goodbye or not hold a door and spend the rest of the day thinking about it


mr-mononucleosis:

lunalovegouda:

The intro cards for Futurama have always been one of my favorite parts of the show because people always talk about the old Simpson’s couch gag but this is just pure gold… I mean-

It goes from everything from 

image

image

and then they made fun of how much everyone reacted to the the infamous ‘dead dog episode’ that I cried about…

image

image

image

And then one time when the show got canceled…

image

and then when it came back..

image

you’re missing my favorite one though

image


poupon:

drakensberg:

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

how dare you say we piss on the poor